I am the youngest doctor in my team, unmarried and without children, and struggle to command the respect I deserve
Twice a week we publish the problems that will feature in a forthcoming Dear Jeremy advice column in the Guardian Money supplement so that readers can offer their own advice and suggestions. We then print the best of your comments alongside Jeremy's own insights. Here is the latest dilemma – what are your thoughts?
I am a female doctor working in the community with an all-female team of nurses and a consultant who is my supervisor. I am midway through my training to become a consultant, having graduated more than six years ago; however, I am the youngest in the team by nearly 15 years.
Although I have lived with my partner for six years, my colleagues consistently decline to take my home life seriously as I am unmarried and we don't have children. I am frequently expected to stay late; and I have been allocated "on call" over the entire Christmas period as "You don't have a husband or kids to be home for" – never mind the fact I had planned to spend time with my partner and extended family. Additionally, the nursing staff repeatedly refer to me as a "student doctor" in front of patients, despite knowing that I am fully qualified and have a large caseload of my own. I suspect it is not helped by the fact I look young for my age. However, it is demoralising to me and misleading to patients.
How can I make my colleagues take me and my position seriously? I have tried consistently referring to my partner as "my other half" to make whether or not I am married vague, and talking about "grown up" subjects like my mortgage and nephews, but it hasn't helped.
I feel I can't talk to my supervisor about this as she is one of the worst offenders, and is solely responsible for giving me my evaluation at the end of this job, allowing me to progress in my career. I am in this post until August 2014. How can I – or should I – address this?
Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy's and readers' help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally.
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